Many of us spend much of our time functioning in a state of vigilance which has become neurobiologically hardwired without our even being aware of it. We often think of people being either “stressed” or “chilled-out” but in reality, stress exists on a gradient. This stretches between a state of profound calm, through pleasant normality, then constant pressure and finally to overwhelming alarm. These days, our busy lives of 24-hour internet intrusion, multi-tasking and demand-driven angst tend to leave us much closer to the crisis end of that scale than is healthy. This is very corrosive to our happiness within certain situations or relationships, as well as to our overall health itself.
With a little grit and resilience, however, it is not difficult to modify such a picture. One of the biggest obstacles to doing this is a constant flow of intrusive ruminations; we often keep fretting about the past (about which we have no control whatsoever) and anticipate future stressful demands that haven’t yet and may well never occur. Such ruminations are, therefore, of little use but always leave one feeling uneasy and yet more vulnerable still. Instead, it would serve all of us well just to accept that the future is inherently uncertain and not a thing over which we have either any meaningful control over, or else all the answers to today.
Stressful situations are immediately expressed physically within the body before they take root psychologically. Any new stressor can throw us into a feedback loop (e.g. the chicken coming before the egg) which needs to be formally broken. It is often worth asking oneself: “Where in the body am I holding my stress?” Are the fists clenched, brows furrowed, shoulders shrugged, or buttocks being tightly gripped, for example? If so, consciously let them go. This may not work for long without practice, but it does at least break the immediate cycle.
A nebulous feeling of being overwhelmed can be addressed by putting demands into three categories: "What can be changed; what can’t be changed and what could potentially be changed". This is a good way to de-clutter the mind and prioritise. Stop agonizing about what can’t be changed. Make lifestyle or other adjustments to facilitate what can be changed and perhaps re-assess things in the other category, once the first two have been taken care of. A similar approach can be helpful when de-cluttering a seemingly insurmountable mountain of emails: “Do, Delegate or Delete”.
All living things, be they animal or vegetable, exhibit a neurobiological response when experiencing a challenging event. This has been a perfectly normal behaviour since prehistoric times. Recent research has shown that this response takes place in mammals, within a deep and primitive part of the nervous system, a fraction of a second before the higher brain centres respond. A release of adrenaline might then take place shortly afterwards, followed by hormonal changes, such as an elevation of cortisol levels. Any further processing or rationalisation only takes place afterwards.
If the stressful event is perceived to continue, such changes can endure and throw the whole system out of normal alignment. This can contribute to other problems such as weight gain, decreased mood, immunity, libido or fertility. The final element of the sequence is an intellectual one: “Maybe I shouldn’t eat that type of plant again as it makes me sick”, or “Maybe I should run away faster, the next time I see a sabre-tooth tiger”. Knowing that this sequence is perfectly normal, and is essential for the survival of life on earth, we can be empowered rather than victimised by our response to challenges. Sometimes one wins and sometimes one learns!
Good levels of fitness and physical health are the equivalent to an inoculation against stress. Like a vaccination, it doesn’t always work completely but it helps. It is well known that an icy dip or blast of cold water at the end of a shower can brace up the body and prepare the nervous system for future speedy responses and recoveries. Many people consider it important to have a couple of decent colds or upset stomachs every year, in order to keep our immunity sharp; rather like having a fire practice each term at school. A splash of cold water on the face will have a similar effect.
It’s easy to over-identify with our responses or perceived disappointments when challenged. A good person can also be a clumsy one, or one not endowed with great beauty. Certain actions or failures to act in a certain way must not be construed as reflections on one’s basic identity itself. Patterns of shortcomings are easy to invent and become particularly corrosive in this respect. It might be more constructive to consider repeated or similar challenges to one’s ego as welcome skin-thickening boosts, rather than responding to them aggressively and defensively.
Mankind has only transitioned to a more indoor way of life over the last few generations. Outside the Western world, where life outdoors still predominates, levels of stress and unhappiness tend to be much lower. Even though relative poverty or paucity of diet might also prevail, anxiety, depression and neuroticism are similarly reduced. Perhaps we should envy and seek to emulate this approach where we can?
Relaxing the eye muscles by looking away from any screen ahead and instead into the distance stimulates the brain to relax. The green and brown colours of the countryside are calming, while bright reds and yellows are more alarming. As well as the colours of nature, its sounds and smells are also calming. Staring up into the sky can help to lift us up from our worldly cares and this can be particularly true of the night sky. A useful picture to remember is that even when we are surrounded by dark and stormy clouds, the sky is always blue above.
Soothing influences are transmitted around the body by the Vagus Nerve: thus named because fibres from it meander extensively, communicating with all of the body’s internal organs. It delivers the message that our organs are safe and able, therefore, to set about their normal “housekeeping” activities. The Vagus Nerve is strongly influenced by the diaphragm during regular and deep breathing (e.g. a “sigh of relief”). When under pressure, many of us tend to inhale in short or anxious gasps and never actually breathe out fully to achieve this depth. Some find that centuries old practices such as tai chi and yoga can help us to remain calmer and do so principally by controlling our breathing.
Faced with a barrage of incoming newsflashes or internet flusters and an assumed need to respond, connect or be ever more vigilant, people are becoming far more vociferous over their entitlements and exemptions than ever before. This can never be resolved and instead becomes a futile downwardly spiralling frustration. If everyone thinks alike, however, is anyone actually thinking? Maybe it's worth scheduling a decent break from this behaviour at least daily.
Overall, therefore, taking time to be kind to ourselves as well as compassionate towards others really does pay great dividends in terms of general wellbeing, immunity and quality of life.
Why not start today?
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